Thursday, October 23, 2014

Monster Ballads IV

Dear Herb,

I hope this letter finds you well. I haven't heard from you since that night so I'm worried you're mad at me. Honestly, you have every right to be. I should have told you about my... problem. I was afraid you wouldn’t want to be friends any more if you knew. But, since you were there when it happened this time, I guess the jig is up. During full moons I black out and when I come to I can’t remember what happened during the trance. I’m sure I act like a real idiot! Sorry you had to see that, Herb. It must have been a real humdinger this time because when I came out of it I had a severed human arm in my mouth. Oh, it was a gag arm, of course! I mean, it had to have been, right? It did look very realistic, though. The shirt sleeve on it was exactly like the shirt you had been wearing. I tried to find you to tell you about it, but I guess you left. You put that gag arm in my mouth, right? I know how much you love practical jokes. Classic Herb! I just wish you’d pick up your phone so I could tell you how funny it was. I’ve gone by your house and your car’s there but you don't seem to be answering the door. Your mail's really piling up, Herb. Also there are a bunch of newspapers stacked up on your driveway. I counted them and there were 12 papers - exactly the amount of days since that night.

Anyway, listen, Herb, the main reason I'm writing is to tell you about this great compilation of Halloween songs called Monster Ballads 4!

Track Listing:
1. The Opposite Song - Danny Devillier, with Jesse Lalonde & Leah Graeff
2. Mummy - Hard Barfer
3. The Silhouette - The Moriarties
4. Swamp Thang - Dorian Phibian vs Swash Bucklin
5. One of Those Places - Bates Motel Players
6. Room 237 - The Jack Torrance Five
7. Tickle Monster - Ship Clock
8. Dying to Meet You - D Duo
9. Slip Into The Darkness (A Reluctant Vampire Ballad) - Alex V. Cook
10. Satan, Laughing, Spreads His Wings - Lipperskip