Monster Ballads III

There you sit, snug by the fire at home on a cold October's eve. Suddenly, the door flies open. You try to close it, but something stops you. Your heart begins to pound. Why can't you close it? Well, it appears that a pale, bony hand is holding it open. And who's body is attached to that horrid hand? That's an even scarier question. With trembling eyes you turn to see a figure cloaked in black, face obscured by shadow.

"May I come in?" the figure asks. It seems like it was actually a rhetorical question because it just floats right on in without waiting for your answer. 

"Doooooo yooooou have any coooooooooooooooooookies?" it groans. 

"O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-only f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-Fig Newtons," you stutter. 

"Ew! Well, that's okay, I drank a bunch of blood earlier so that should tide me over until dinner. Listen, you're probably wondering why I'm here."

"T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-to k-k-k-kill me?" 

"Kill you? Ha ha, whaaaat? You're paranoid, man. That's funny. 'Kill you.' No, I'm here to tell you to about Monster Ballads 3." 

 

Track Listing:
1.   D Is For Dracula - The Moriarties
2.   Gamera - Hard Barfer
3.   Color Me Blood Red - Mysterium of Sound
4.   The Vampire Song - Nathan Franklin
5.   A lament from Earth's greatest monsters - Patrick Gibbens
6.   Synthetic Mummy - Junior Cables
7.   Tree Heart - The Lagoons
8.   Silver Bullet Sunrise - Wizards of Boat
9.   Blood Is Life: A Tribute To The Bram Stoker's 'Dracula' Pinball Machine - Coffin Up Quarters
10. World of Evil - Ondine
11. Doing The Devil's Work - Boots Mouton & The Fucking Vampires
12. Frankenstein '94 - Buddusky
13. Big Mouth, Big Kiss - Ship Clock
14. In The Dark - Dominique
15. Suck My Dick! - Philatio
16. I Walk The Line - The Undead All-Stars
17. A Falcon Quill Dipped in My Enemies' Blood - Alex V. Cook
18. Impotent - Philippe Landry

Listen and download here:

Monster Ballads II

Presenting Monster Ballads II, another album full o' blood-curdling, spine-chilling, hair-raising, eye-spinning, tailbone-shattering, femur-spicing, foot-sharpening, belly button-acknowledging, fontanelle-remembering, vestigial wing-discovering songs for your Halloween listening pleasure.

Track Listing:

1. Ghoulie - The Undead All-Stars

2. Monster & Bride - Hard Barfer

3. Boris Karloff  - Secret Annexe

4. Wicked Cracks - Arabian Safari

5. Fashion Dagger - Dorian Phibian

6. Child of God - Buddusky

7. The Hard Food Monster Has a Baby - Sheeby and Groofy

8. Halloween Police - Dege Legg

9. Who Are You? What Are You Doing Here? - The Moriarties 

Listen and download here:

"Monster Ballads" the Album

You know how they have "Monster Ballads" albums and they are full of songs by the likes of Winger, Warrant, and Whitesnake? Well, a man named Phil said he wished it was full of songs about monsters like Dracula and Wolfman instead. We all said, "Great idea, Phil," then made this.

Track Listing:
1.   Swamp Heart - The Lagoons
2.   Wolfie - Hard Barfer
3.   AstroZombies - The Howdies
4.   Wolfman's Pretty Cool - Moriarties
5.   The Twitch - The Coffin Jockeys
6.   Seth Brundle - Chores
7.   I'm a Monster, Baby. Deal With It - Dorian Phibian
8.   Looks, Brains, and Everything - Dungeon Man
9.   The Dracula Tiger - Hard Barfer
10.  Silver Stake - PVP
11.  Blanket for the End Times (For Dracula) - Philippe Landry

Listen and download here: